Ex

So again I thought I should write even if I have multiple grammar mistakes or not. Did I tell you why I stopped writing? No. Ok it was my ex-girlfriend constant nagging about my grammatical mistakes makes me stop writing and not only writing I stop clicking photo because my ex-girlfriend did some course on photography and also I did stop talking to some of my female friends online and offline. There are so many things that I have stopped due to my ex-girlfriend constant nagging but now I am starting again


*fictional character but then if you suspect someone then it is your fault :)

Ode to Mother Day

Family means everything to many people, and it is the same for me. But when it comes to my own family, I have never been good at expressing my emotions. I honestly do not know why. Strangely, when it comes to relationships, especially the girlfriend part, I become extremely expressive—so expressive that people have even called me immature, and some eventually walked away because of it.

Sometimes my parents wonder if I do not love them or if they have done something wrong. But that is far from the truth. Out of everyone in my life, they are the ones who have loved me the most, stood by me the most, and yes, criticized me the most too. Yet I have never really spoken to them with emotional intensity the way I do with others.

Maybe I take them for granted. Maybe that is part of it. But I know one thing for certain—I love them deeply.

I still remember when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. It happened during my Class 10 examinations. While many relatives around us broke down and drowned in fear and sympathy, I stayed strangely calm on the outside. Inside, I was terrified. I simply refused to believe that my mother—the strongest person I knew—could be defeated by a disease that everyone feared so much.

My parents packed their bags for Bombay for her treatment. That day, relatives filled the house with sorrow and sympathy, and for some reason I hated seeing that. Their flight was at 3 PM, and they left home around 2 PM. I did not go to the airport because getting back home would have been difficult. We lived far away and did not own a vehicle at that time.

So I stayed home, pretending to study.

Then suddenly, when I heard the airplane passing above our house, everything inside me collapsed. I cried uncontrollably because, for the first time, I truly felt the fear of losing my mother. I cried for days after that.

My uncle came every night to check on me. He even took me to an STD booth so I could speak to my parents in Bombay, but strangely, I never wanted to talk to either of them. Maybe hearing their voices would have made the fear too real.

My father never even told me the exact day of my mother’s surgery. Later, he called from a neighbor’s telephone just to say, “Your mom is fine.” I cried again—this time out of relief and gratitude because I knew I would see her again.

After about a month, they finally returned home.

My mother was wearing a scarf. I still remember wanting to hug her so badly, but I could not bring myself to do it. What hurt me the most was knowing how much she loved her hair, and seeing the effects of chemotherapy and radiation on her was heartbreaking. Fortunately, she did not lose all of it.

Since then, my mother has continued fighting cancer with unbelievable strength. Honestly, she is the strongest person in our family—even stronger than my father.

And that is why I do not think we need a single day called Mother’s Day to celebrate mothers. A mother has been fighting for us since the day we were conceived, and in truth, every single day belongs to her.

I love you, Mom.

And I am grateful to be your son.

Yes, Love me

Today after the movie we went a friend keeps on talking on how he has ignored his gf and he is actually regreting it, he said he now want to settle down. He almost broke while telling me his story. During the entire time I kept quite and almost weeps myself becuase I have always longed for love. Being a lone child and growing up without parents because they were busy with their works I have always wanted Love to be around me and if I don't get it I tend to lose my mind and maybe because of it every girls left me some tag me a spoilt child, childish and a women but still I believe in Love and will alwaya do.

I want to request to the people not take love for granted as not everyone is lucky enough to get Love.

ode, again

Today I feel like quitting my life and let myself free from everything. Ever since my film career today I felt so bad. I am lost all alone with three bags and one tripod without any vehicle moving around the city and the hardest thing is that I don't even have money to get an taxi or use public transport. It was really hard for me and also I am slightly having fever when there are alert for swine flu and then again I thought let it be.

I have nothing in me to say or ask people for help as the people whom I can ask for help is far away and somehow I make them run away from me. Yesterday after many consideration I decided to end Heima! Films, the production house which was very dear to me and today after the project I am doing I won't be doing any independent work and will only work on hire basis if there are people to hire me.

Ode

Ode to heima! Films

It is really hard to closed down a company that I have co-created with immense expectation and love. I could have run it independently but I have a huge respect for those friend with whom I started the company. Yes the whole breakdown is my mistake because I was forceful for certain do's and don't.

It's hurt but a heartfelt goodbye to heima! Films. There won't be any film under the banner anymore

Sorry

I know I can be such a pain in ass when I am immersely sad. I know what I am doing and how I am acting and no matter how much I tried I can't stop the way I am acting.

I don't believe in god but today right now I pray to the one heavenly above please give me strength to change myself so that I won't be a pain in the ass anymore. I have lost many people in my life and I don't want to lose it anymore.
My sincere apologies to those all whom have suffered and faced humiliation due to my groucy and childish nature and I will try my best to avoid as much as I can do.

Thabal/Yaoshang

Yaosang thabal starts today and many are getting ready for it. Call are made to their lovers by the girl for the grand events and almost everyone is excited and happy about but for me it never interest me, i really don't like festival. Maybe I am socially awkward but anyway enjoy the thabal. :)