Ex

So again I thought I should write even if I have multiple grammar mistakes or not. Did I tell you why I stopped writing? No. Ok it was my ex-girlfriend constant nagging about my grammatical mistakes makes me stop writing and not only writing I stop clicking photo because my ex-girlfriend did some course on photography and also I did stop talking to some of my female friends online and offline. There are so many things that I have stopped due to my ex-girlfriend constant nagging but now I am starting again


*fictional character but then if you suspect someone then it is your fault :)

Ode to Mother Day

Family matter a lot to many people and it is same for me but I don't express much when it comes to my family and I really don't know why however when it comes to the Girl friend part I am super expressive and the expression are super high that many dumped me. My parents sometime wonders if i don't love them or have they done anything wrong but that's not true because of all the people they have loved me the most and criticized me the most. I have never ever talk to them with emotionally charged but I can be really emotional to others to such a extent that I am called an immature. The thing about why I can't express love to my parents will always be a mystery or am I taking them for granted? That's is very questionable. Granted maybe but I love them so much that I have never shown them any sympathy when my mom was diagnose with breast cancer, it was during my tenth examination most of the relative went into super depressive mode and I was normal, I was crying inside but I dint show it to any of them because I know mom will fight for it and I really don't want to believe that she is suffering from a disease that every single person fears. Mom and Dad packed their bags for Bombay. That day everyone was there showing their sympathy towards my Mom, I really hate them for that, it was 3pm flight they left at around 2pm. I dint go to the airport because it will be a problem for me to come back home and we live really far and at that point of time we dint have any vehicle. I stayed back home and was reading my book and then suddenly when I hear the plane passing above our house I cried a river, I cried because I don't know if I was going to see my mom, I cried for three four days. My uncle came every night to keep a check on me, he even took me to STD booth to make a call at Bombay but I never wanted to talk to either mom or dad. My dad never told me the day my mom was gonna operated until he called on our neighbor telephone to tell me that mom is fine. I cried again maybe out of rejoice that I am going to see my mom, they came back home after a month or so. Mom was wearing a scarf I wish I could hug her at that time but I dint. I feel sad again because Mom love her hair so much and the amount of hair fall she gonna have during her radiation and chemotherapy was huge but fortunately she dint lose all of her hair. Ever since mom is fighting the cancer and is the strongest one among the family even more then my Dad.

And I really don't think we need Mother Days to celebrate any mother in the world because she is fighting for us since the day we were conceive and everyday infact should be mother day.

I love you mom. I am glad to be in your life.

Yes, Love me

Today after the movie we went a friend keeps on talking on how he has ignored his gf and he is actually regreting it, he said he now want to settle down. He almost broke while telling me his story. During the entire time I kept quite and almost weeps myself becuase I have always longed for love. Being a lone child and growing up without parents because they were busy with their works I have always wanted Love to be around me and if I don't get it I tend to lose my mind and maybe because of it every girls left me some tag me a spoilt child, childish and a women but still I believe in Love and will alwaya do.

I want to request to the people not take love for granted as not everyone is lucky enough to get Love.

ode, again

Today I feel like quitting my life and let myself free from everything. Ever since my film career today I felt so bad. I am lost all alone with three bags and one tripod without any vehicle moving around the city and the hardest thing is that I don't even have money to get an taxi or use public transport. It was really hard for me and also I am slightly having fever when there are alert for swine flu and then again I thought let it be.

I have nothing in me to say or ask people for help as the people whom I can ask for help is far away and somehow I make them run away from me. Yesterday after many consideration I decided to end Heima! Films, the production house which was very dear to me and today after the project I am doing I won't be doing any independent work and will only work on hire basis if there are people to hire me.

Ode

Ode to heima! Films

It is really hard to closed down a company that I have co-created with immense expectation and love. I could have run it independently but I have a huge respect for those friend with whom I started the company. Yes the whole breakdown is my mistake because I was forceful for certain do's and don't.

It's hurt but a heartfelt goodbye to heima! Films. There won't be any film under the banner anymore

Sorry

I know I can be such a pain in ass when I am immersely sad. I know what I am doing and how I am acting and no matter how much I tried I can't stop the way I am acting.

I don't believe in god but today right now I pray to the one heavenly above please give me strength to change myself so that I won't be a pain in the ass anymore. I have lost many people in my life and I don't want to lose it anymore.
My sincere apologies to those all whom have suffered and faced humiliation due to my groucy and childish nature and I will try my best to avoid as much as I can do.

Thabal/Yaoshang

Yaosang thabal starts today and many are getting ready for it. Call are made to their lovers by the girl for the grand events and almost everyone is excited and happy about but for me it never interest me, i really don't like festival. Maybe I am socially awkward but anyway enjoy the thabal. :)