A land called land

Many things are destructing my mind and many time I want to write but my vocab is extremely weak so I could not use words to express my mind in words so I always stop it by middle or even before I start writing but some days back I have this urge to write but still reluctant to do so but manage to sprinkle my mind that it "ok Mr. Mind just write and between you are not sitting for any grammar examination!!!!!" so here I'm today trying to fill something into my blog which have been dormant for quite a long time. Before moving to Mumbai I was very much reluctant to do as reason was that I don't know no one in the city, heard that it is high rocking expensive and very fast city, being a village boy fast lane city might not be my cup of tea. It took me two month to answer my offer to the channel but finally I decided to do so thinking of it as a challenge. I landed Bombay on 23rd October 2008 and joined office on the same day and as I was inter-city transfer my first 15 days in Mumbai was in 3 star hotel where every single I do was free except that the food was veg. Those fifteen days was greatest day in mumbai until I shifted to my own matchbox room.

I have fight to do what I'm doing for living, fight with parents, friends and girlfriend(the reason my last girl left was because I'm doing this job) but have always believe in myself and now here I'm with film and television industry but television is something that I dont want to do as it is quite suffocating and freedom is really seized but have no option as I'm more into the running water, AC, KFC etc but now I want to go back and run among the hill, rivers, stream and scream beneath the blue sky and live with a sense of freedom.

I prefer hills and small hut other then tall sky scrapper and wide road, I'm more happy with narrow road. It been year that I'm having full time job but I'm never happy, I feel that this is not what I have to do something is really missing a gap inside my soul. Looking back to the dream I had and what I'm doing now is totally different now I have become miser who only care about paper and plastic, I hate 24 hour electricity it's one of the main reason I'm having insomnia sigh! some days back when I went to home town just for four days I slept well and I was really happy, can actually say it was the happiest day of my life since I moved to Bombay.

Friends say I should shift job but I know for sure that it is not going to help me as it is not the place I belong..I belong to a place where I can play with cloud, run to hill whenever I'm sad, go to the field in peaceful evening, a place where I can fall asleep with the sound of beetle, a place where rain and thunderstorm becomes my lullaby but people say why I do want to go because the place I called home is hell in earth where I can get killed anytime, where I can ask for money, where there is only light for 6 hours in a day, where road are potholes, where rich are getting richer and poor are getting poorer. Well I have nothing to say if friends don't want to go because I don't patent their mind but please don't ask to act/think like you, I love my place no matter how bad it is and we are the one who are going to make a change and if we don't even tried to make a change then we don't have the rights to say anything.

Last, I cannot talk about changes or unchanged place because I myself stay away from it and serving other people land.

I don't like FESTIVALS

There are thing in this world that I can't stand at all viz crackers, color and communities. Last year during Maharashtra biggest festival of Ganesha and people were out with there mandal for the emerging of idol and of course it's colors and crackers everywhere and it hurt me like anything else however I realized something which was hurting more then the crackers and colors i.e. communities

My building are mixed culture building of Muslim, Hindu(marathi) and we two mongoloid . The whole building which was used to fight, laugh together was divided that , while Hindu were celebrating with the biggest crackers they have, the Muslim are standing as spectator which let me asking myself why can't they also join the mandal why! why! why! cant it be a festival which can be celebrated by everybody in this freaking world, when will be the time human being start acting like HUMANS.

To me religious festival should be banned if it is not celebrated by everyone regardless of who they are and where they are from. For once and for forever there is no harm in being just human being.

Film (oh) graphy

It been long that I have written about films and maybe because I have not seen much films these day and when I say films it is about regional films not hollywood or some developed film industries. Last time the film that I wrote about was Olangthagi Wangmadasu which really impressed me with the style the film was made, it was simple with song in the first part of film and how it change in the second part of the film. As I don't have much to write about some of my mentor/teacher ask me to write about documentary film scene in our land but to be frank I'm not impressed by the way documentary are made. To me all the documentary are same where some talk about culture or dance which really irks me out so I have been postponing about writing for the documentary scene but thought I shall do that and I need to do research to do so.

But today I'm writing about the scenario of our films and where are we wrong about it infact we are not wrong many people like films which are made now and if changes happen it will be hard for the people to accept it but the people who are opposing is the educated one who stay at the middle of town and have seen many good quality films and whenever they put the disc into their machine they tried to compare with all the good films they have seen before and I admit that I used to do that but I was taught at FTII that when we watch a film we watch it like we are experiencing films for the first time and it does really help as there is no such thing called bad film only except that the producer wants to make his black in to white :)

I recently meet one film maker who really wants to make quality film and we were discussing about how can we do or whatsoever but at end we always ended up with investment,'Who will be ready to invest' so ended up deciding to make it the way it is but he is really serious about it and I hope to be able to help him out.

Next time I'm trying to write about a film called Anganba Kurao Mapan which I'm eagerly waiting for the cd to arrive

Then I start

A friend keep on asking when will I start writing and my answer was that I'm bored to write anything but when she called and I myself was giving such a long lecture telling her not to stop writing then I suddenly feel that why I'm not writing and why I was telling her not to stop writing even though it kept me awhile to write I thought today that I should not stop writing.

So first of all thanks to all the comment on my blog which I don't understand but it is really sweet to get 17 comment on my writing. Thanks you all whoever is commenting on it. Well that was the appreciating part now coming back to my writing ummm there are lot of draft that I have never published and many story which is to be continued but never did I don't know whether I will be able to continue it..it hard to get my brain working this days or says since my birth I always have difficulty making my brain works and my parents will agree with me on this and they would give me or vote me if it was quiz whether my brain works or not and they would won the million dollar$$$$$$. Well won't it be a good to idea to start a tv shows where question are being ask to the parents about their kids??? and we can call it You bet I know you!

Now the real problem comes in when I write I cannot join words..there are lot of words in my mind like matrix but I cannot encrypt it and which led me to stop writing and now it is time for me to stop writing I need to buy a good brain reader to break this encryption. sigh!

Yet another short

*FIRST DRAFT*

"Why are you concern about electricity when there are people who have nothing to eat", she said while not making eye contact with him. He was shocked for awhile when he heard what she said.

There was total silence among them even though they are standing together at roadside with frequent number of vehicle passing by. The silence continue for a while until he saw her mouth moving atleast she is saying something, he lean himself trying to listen what she is saying but in his mind it was his past memories which is lingering and echoing and could not hear anything.

Some years back

"Come it's just a drink. You won't die I guaranteed", she said with lot of enthuse on phone, "Well..errr", he says thinking what to say as he have never tried drink in his life with girls before and was really confused but he said yes as he don't want her to think him as pussy. They were planning to meet at the pub around 7 o'clock and he was not sure what to wear as it is just some days back that they have meet through some common friends.

He find her standing in front of the pub playing with her cellphone and smiling. Is she beautiful he ask himself and could not answer. He keep on thinking for a while until the cabbie ask him where to stop, he seems to be lost which make the cabbie drove him off to some yard away from the spot which he realised when his phone rings he look into the phone and it was her call, he answered it hurriedly and from other side, "Where are you?" he was shock hearing the blunt voice, the voice coming from other side never show any hesitations. He dint answer for a while as he was lost into the voice coming from other side. He was lost in immense thought which was finally castaway by the cabbie.

She wave her hand the moment she saw him coming toward her and give him a tight hug. He was shocked dint react but hesitately hug her tapping her back.

to be continued

well

Here I'm yet again to write after failing many times in some recent times. I don't why I cannot write while I have lot of thing. Pretty confusing. I miss those days of mine when I can write anytime in day. I was able to penned down any thing which came up to my mind which is one thing I do most i.e. thinking. I'm official thinker there are no day that I don't think. I thought that I could write before I was reading one of my friends blog but no I cannot think of any..I don't know where are all the crap that was in my head since morning except that my tweets was in top tweets in one national paper which I find out in evening. So much of procrastination duh! and DAMN nothing in my mind now :(

boo hoo

I'm sick. I have been diagnose with life full of boredom. I want to break this web of crap work and live life freely that I used to have before. My mind is froze with all the crap and I cannot think no more. Used to be a person who used to write many stories and these day I cannot even write a simple FB status forget about story. There are people who expect a lot from me and I know for sure that I'm going to disappoint them that's is my biggest fear and sadly it is happening. I have some work to finish for my folks and when it's done I'm going to do what is in my head.