Sunday, December 1, 2013

I cried today

My upbringing was done by many aunts and sisters because my parents were a working parents and their job required immense amount of travelling and many training. Ever since my childhood I played the ‘Chak-Thongbis’ and many other games which the male ego called it girly games, and because of the sisters and aunts who were unmarried at the time teaches me everything about singju-bora tasting and lots of cinemas, maybe it was one of the tiny bit of reason why I am in cinema. None of the aunts or sisters never stayed long, as time changes and their face structure they got married and move on with their lives it is very sad from my part that I have forgot most of them and I don’t have any clue where they are and even more sadder that I never tried to find them. When my parents ran out of sisters and aunts they introduced me to my elder brother, Da Ibungo. I still remember the first time he came to my place with uncle who came to drop him off. I look at him and he gave me an orange, I like oranges and maybe it was one of the sweetest if I re-called. He got admission in the same school I was studying, I know he was keeping a watch on me but never ever let me felt. He make me do whatever I want, he was with us for quite a long time until the day he went back to our native place. After that I make sure I visit his place now and then, and he will always make sure I was comfort because I was a city boy and he knows how I grew up among the city lights (there were no load shedding while growing up) and to be frank I hate going to the Lawais but Da Ibungo was the only reason why I went. I do regret my acts for judging people and land.

Today in my dream I saw Da Ibungo, he was calm as usual and I saw many people as well, my parents and one guy – he was the younger brother I always dreamt to have and in my dream I was the centre of discussion, all of them were confused why I was acting like that and Da Ibungo stayed quite while the guy almost beat me up. Each and every one of them was talking how protective my dad was for me. There were heated argument, I was screaming and was in mess and I started crying looking at Da Ibungo which is when I realised I was awake and crying and trying to control not to make any sound. I sat up and thought why I was crying and Da Ibungo face, which I have forgotten was in my mind vaguely and I realised maybe I cried today because I dint cried when he died. He killed himself and during the last rites, everyone was calling out his name saying, ‘Nanao is here, wake up’. They came towards me to hold and many cry their eyes out but I dint even have a single drop of tears, Ema told me that she was amazed that I dint shed a single tears that day, I don’t know why even though Da Ibungo was my first best friend.


Da, I miss you so much. I am also sorry that I don’t remember your face now but I cried for you today.

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